How To Irritate Students At School
by i-n-v-i-s-i-b-l-e
Summary: Hm... I think this would go under here. This is a satire.


187425

This was originally a homework assignment, but I decided to post it on this website. It's a satire, meaning sarcasm used to change something. So, enjoy. -TrUeStArDuSt

How to Irritate Students at School

By TrUeStArDuSt

School is a place where students of many different shapes, sizes, and colors can come together to gain knowledge that will help further them in life. Students have many dreams, to be a lawyer, a doctor, an engineer, or even a teacher. Dreams may be crushed by much persistence. A bully or an annoying person may cause a person to drop out of school or get bad grades. You can crush people's dreams easily by knowing the right way to irritate them. At school, irritation comes in three main places: in the hallways, at lunch, and in the classroom.

The first way to irritate other students is to stand in the middle of a crowded hall, talking to a large group of friends, who are standing with you. By doing this, it will cause other students to weave through your group as they're trying to get to their next class. The students will also find hallway traffic moving very slowly, such as a few inches every 10 seconds, since your group is taking up all the space. Students will come to class late because of the overcrowded halls. Since you have stood in the hall many times before, the students have been late many times. Their teachers will give them detention because they have been late so many times. They will spend 15 minutes of their lunch staring at the wall in a room filled with troublemakers, who were close to expulsion, with fighting, destruction of school property, etcetera on their permanent record. The person who got detention from you can thank your quick thinking.

When the students do get to go to lunch, they will find the lines incredibly long. Annoy them further by cutting in line in front of them. The person will become even angrier because of the fact that they had to wait in line for over 10 minutes, walking forward a few centimeters at a time, while you stand in line for five minutes and only get French fries. It will exasperate the person that when they finally get their food, lunch will be over. Another way to irritate them at lunch is to eat off their plate, even though you can afford your own food. Don't ask if you can have some of their food instead just take. Or, if this does not satisfy you, just knock their food onto the ground so the person can't eat lunch at all.

After lunch is over, get ready to annoy students in the classroom. The first step to annoy people in class is to throw objects at them. The action will agitate the students. Try to be as loud as you can, thoroughly distracting the students so they cannot get any work done. As you're throwing objects and screaming as loud as you can, randomly call out a person's name. When the person looks, just ask: "What?" The person will give you a glare, before returning to their work. Repeat this process every minute or two. At the end of the period, just copy from the "smart kid" who, despite the loudness of the classroom, got all their work done. The "smart kid" will get annoyed because everyone always copy off them, just because they get good grades and turn in all their work. The students who do not get their work done will have a missing assignment, because this work was due at the end of the period, and because no late work will be accepted, they cannot turn their work in. Their grade will drop because of this missing assignment, and other missing assignments that were caused by you. The pestered student will struggle to pass, but you will pass with flying colors because you know the material that was taught in class so well that because you always pay attention in class.

If these steps are followed, in no time the students who were pestered will find a large senior, who happens to be the star player on the wrestling team, to beat you up. As you're spending time in the hospital, think about what could have been done to prevent your massive injuries. As you think about this, laugh. Your whole purpose for going to school is to annoy other students. Why go to school to learn when you can spend much more time annoying your peers? Besides, you won't need to know how to find the volume of a sphere when your main speaking line is: "Do you want fries with that?" Maybe the person who was tormented by you will work at the same place as you, because they got bad grades due to their lack of work turned in, since you prevented them from doing so. The person who you afflicted bad grades upon will be furious at you and curse your name all the days of their natural life. Feel good about yourself that you achieved so much in school. Then put on your animal costume and hand out flyers, as kids kick and punch their "beloved mascot".


End file.
